Author: Sjirk Bajema
Last saved by: Andrew Nugteren

SONG OF SONGS 5:2-6:3
(Reading: Psalm 133; 1 John 4:7-21)

Love Left - But Right Again!

Congregation of Christ...

	Those sounds of the wedding have long gone.
		The solemn hush; the special thrill; the laughter of the dinner.
			Even the honeymoon is a distant memory.

	Actually, the way things seem now, it’s as if all that happened on some other planet!
		The high plateau of initial enthusiasm hasn’t just planed out - it’s literally bombed out!

	This is what we hear in chapter 5 verse 3.
		The husband arrives unexpectantly.
			A pleasant surprise?
	
	Not quite.
		Listen to what the wife says: “I have taken off my robe - must I put it on again?
			“I have washed my feet - must I soil them again?”

	It’s a situation which has been often caricatured.
		The frumpy wife, the hair in rollers, and those words, “Not tonight dear, I’ve got a headache!”

	Our text isn’t putting it in such a ridiculed way, but it’s the same thing.
		And that’s the sad thing!
			So many marriages are like this.

	And it’s not that they don’t love each other any more.
		But the circumstances of life, those everyday duties - so many things - begin to crowd in and push out what really counts!
			In marriages the love can grow cold.

	It’s all a part of the oh so gradual and subtle shift from that one who was ‘Numero Uno’ - the number one in your life!
		Wives begin to live for their children - husbands can’t live without their jobs.
			And not that these other things are in themselves bad, or even that sometimes they need priority.

	But there’s a change to the routine of your life itself.
		Your covenant begins to break down.
			What was that closeness before, as we warmed towards it earlier in this book of the Songs, has definitely cooled.

	That’s why when we realise the verses 2 till 7 actually describe a dream, it shouldn’t make us take this any less seriously.
		Being a dream shows how much it’s there in her life.

	This is not so far away from us as we might like to think.
		In fact, even to think of it as far from us - that this isn’t us - is to be taken in by its deceptive trap.

	No wonder that this first point is called... WHAT NOT LOVING BRINGS!
		Not that we’re not in love - mind you!
			Though we might as well be like that sometimes the way we become so involved in our own selfish lives, and not thinking about your partner.

	God’s call to love the one right next to you first of all is abused.
		And we know it!
			Look - the Beloved knows it!

	Having been approached with such exquisite words as “my sister, my darling, my dove, my flawless one,” she didn’t love!
		WHAT NOT LOVING BRINGS!

	For soon enough she realises what she’s done.
		As she says in the verse 4 and 5, “My lover thrust his hand through the latch-opening; my heart began to pound for him.
			“I arose to open for my lover, and my hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with flowing myrrh, on the handles of the locks.”

	Oh, no!
		She’s reminded all around of what they have, but she hasn’t showed it!
			He left the special perfume of his own dripping down that door handle he tried to shift.
				WHAT NOT LOVING BRINGS.

	Everything around points us to what we should’ve done.
		And yet what do we get?
			Exactly what we asked for!
				“I opened for my lover, but my lover had left; he was gone.”

	To little - to late!
		What follows is logical, though so hard!
			It really paints an unhappy scene.
	And no matter that she says in verse 6, “My heart had gone out to him when he spoke,” and “I looked for him but did not find him.”
		Or that she called him and he didn’t answer.
			You see - it’s all happened!
				WHAT NOT LOVING BRINGS!

	A terrible burden gets you then.
		Desperation to make it right.
			So much that we can do the most silly things!
				After all, we’ve just been so stupid!

	As the Beloved relates from her dream in verse 7, “The watchmen found me as they made their rounds in the city.
		“They beat me, they bruised me; they took away my cloak, those watchmen of the walls!”

	This is one of those things you only do because you’re so frantic.
		Otherwise, any iota of common sense would tell you not to go there and do that.

	For those watchmen are a rough and ready lot.
		They’re not going to pussyfoot around with anybody!
			But she escapes, leaving behind her outer shawl.

	And to her friends she cries out for help!
		In verse 8 we read, “O daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you - if you find my lover, what will you tell him?
			“Tell him I am faint with love.”

	It seems she’s come to the end of her tether.
		 Oh, she so wants to tell him it’s not true!
			She’s sorry.
				She desires him desperately.
	She simply cannot go on without him.
		WHAT NOT LOVING BRINGS.

	And so we come to our second part.
		For while being confronted so explicitly with WHAT NOT LOVING BRINGS... now she’s found... THOUGH TRUE FRIENDS ARE WINGS.

	The right help lifts you right above the mess you were.
		They hear your cry of deepest frustration.
			And they do answer you the very best way.

	Still, it might well be what you feel you least want then.
		Because listen to them in verse 9, “How is your beloved better than others, most beloved of women?
			“How is your beloved better than others, that you charge us so?”

	You see, good friends bounce it back on you!
		They have the wisdom to know they cannot live your life for you, but you can do it yourself in the LORD’s strength!
			And they put it in such a way that you’re led yourself to what you desperately need.

	A true friend doesn’t block, or obstruct, or detour.
		He or she actually helps to clear the way.
			I mean, don’t you do all you can to bring those in trouble back to where they truly belong?

	The friends show it in verse 9 of chapter 5, and again at the beginning of chapter 6, in verse 1.
		Verse 9 gives the encouragement for the beloved’s most loving picture of her husband in the verses 10 till 16.
			And their next questions in 6:1 set the scene for a wondrous reunion!

	For that, congregation, we need to wait still a little longer with baited breath.
		Though to be a friend!
			To show you really care, and that you try your best to be there, especially when that person is so full of fear!
				TRUE FRIENDS ARE WINGS.

	Then as saints together we’re thrilled to hear such a description that the Beloved now sings!
		We join in realising the next part of what we need in our marriages, and indeed, in all our friendships.
			For this third point says... SO SHE STILL FURTHER CLINGS!

	Humanly speaking, it’s sometimes the last thing you feel like.
		You want to throw it all in.
			At that point it’s not worth anything.
	That’s why this is all of grace.
		The LORD does it.
			And we see it.
				It’s there in our own love, especially when we don’t feel like that love.

	Because what does she do but focus so positively upon her husband?
		A passage which has similarities to his description of her back in chapter 4, the verses 1 till 7.

	For who is a lover radiant and ruddy, if not one who is shining specially and boldly!
		How precious he must be that his head is like purest gold, standing out with wavy and black hair.

	These descriptions present someone very unique.
		Right from the top of his head - to the bottom of his toe!
			True - that’s how the wife does it!

	Don’t look so surprised!
		Much as marriage receives such a bad press, with all those headlines about marriages that go wrong, yet who hears of the good one?
			In fact, if we really wanted to see what a marriage should be, shouldn’t we consider the best?

	When you think of using a new product do you look for what it does if you make a mistake?
		Don’t we rather try to learn what we can use it most for?
			SO SHE STILL FURTHER CLINGS!

	Here is a woman who will give it a go.
		A lady, who even further equipped by her faith in God, knows that He loves it to be so.
			Her words are not soppy!
				She means it when she says, “His eyes are like doves by the winter streams, washed in milk, mounted like jewels.”

	The eyes say it all!
		For his eyes in their glancing moistness, and in the movement of their pupils, are like doves sipping down by the stream, and dancing along its banks.
			
	Washed in milk refers to that around the pupils - the outer eye - you know, the white bit!
		And that eyes are like mounted jewels doesn’t just say that they fill the sockets, but not they’re also bright and expansive.
			They’re full and large as they look at her!

	Though the body isn’t yet complete.
		And so downward she descends in her description.

	His cheeks, his lips - they both give to her as well.
		Solomon is her sweet smell, and his words are so precious and valuable.

	Then there is all which shows forth from his body.
		Here is a king with his snow-white robe and girdle, set full of jewels.

	That’s how a king was dressed in those days.
		But is it how you dress your spouse today?

	Reflect on those legs as pillars of strength.
		Which richer and more glorious footwear could there be than bases of pure gold?

	Overall, you couldn’t have a better husband - or wife!
		He or she is exactly right!

	Oh - is that something new?
		What - you’ve never really thought it that way?

	Please, then, think again.
		Listen to this language of love.
			
	I mean, why else does she say in verse 15, “His appearance is like Lebanon, choice as its cedars.”
		Because his whole look is awe-inspiring; majestic - like Lebanon where the king of mountains rises above them all!
			That’s who He is!
				He’s special - he’s above them all!

	Indeed, for his words you will wait with baited breath.
		Despite how badly you treated him last, this time you want to listen so well!
			She sings in verse 16, “His mouth is sweetness itself, he is altogether lovely.”

	This recalls Proverbs 16 verse 21, where Solomon himself said, “The wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction.”
		And aren’t her words such pleasant words?
			If there would be anything you could say to promote the best atmosphere, then what she says now is so right!

	Can you say it, too?
		Could these be your words, “This is my lover, this my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem”?

	Notice, she’s said it to her friends.
		What a difference to how so many speak of their partners to others!
			And yet what an appropriate way to answer their encouragement!
				“This is my lover, this my friend.”

	Congregation, if this is what we desperately need to say of our earthly groom, what about He who is our spiritual husband?
		Does your trusting soul find Christ altogether lovely?
			Is He the One whose words - as we have them right here - are sweetness itself?

	That was the wonderful picture of Psalm 133.
		There we saw what happens as we are in our LORD.
			Because the unity we have in Him really does flow over us - it affects the whole Church of Christ here below.
				
	The precious oil of His love makes all the difference!
		In those simple yet striking words of 1st John 4 verse 19, “We love because he first loved us.”

	My friends, it’s not that we have anything in ourselves.
		This is one marriage which is arranged!
			And aren’t we so happy it is so!

	If it didn’t happen that way, then you and I wouldn’t be here now following His way!
		As the Beloved thought about who her Lover was to her, so we need to recall who Jesus is to us.
			This is why this third point... SO SHE FURTHER CLINGS... becomes the fourth... FOR THE LOVE WHICH MARRIAGE SINGS!

	The bride’s majestic description of her Lover makes an enormous impression on her friends.
		They had encouraged her to speak about him, but look what they now want to do!
			They know they must help this special love.
				And they know that with a love like this, she will know where he is!

	The LORD’s blessing which joined them together in Christian marriage, can bring them together again. 
		And it does!
			The questions of the ‘Friends’ are answered on the spot!
				It’s all because of THE LOVE WHICH MARRIAGE SINGS!

	Dear husband, dear wife, do you have that kind of confidence in your covenant together?
		Are you so immersed in each other that you even know how each other thinks?

	That’s the kind of reunion we all have to have.
		Tonight you need to get down in prayer together before the LORD, and confess why you haven’t been faithful to Him, and to each other!

	Perhaps you wondered why there were those rough patches in your relationship.
		You were confused as to where your spouse was really at.

	It seems that Jesus is so very far away sometimes.
		Though, believer, who is away from who?

	We get like this in our marriages.
		It’s their fault!
			
	Just like the Church has often blamed God for her problems.
		Not that she she’s always said it out loud.
			But we don’t always do that in our relationships either - do we?

	It’s just as well that the covenant we have with God, and with each other, is based on Jesus’ own precious Name.
		He promised by that name - since there is no one on whom He can promise greater than Himself - that He will never leave or forsake us.

	Now - where would we be if that wasn’t true?
		A thousand times we’ve been unfaithful to Him.
			A thousand times we have come back and we knew He would be there because He promised that He would.

	Husbands - is that the kind of bridegroom you are?
		You make a vow for as long as you both shall live.
			It’s this confidence we have in Jesus Christ, that can also be ours for marriage.

	You see, then that explains verse 2 of chapter 6.
		There the Beloved realises, “My lover has gone down to his garden, to the bed of spices, to browse in the gardens and to gather lilies.”

	Spiritually we may have been distracted from our first love.
		But soon enough we knew we couldn’t live without Him.

	So we repent of how we have just disregarded Him.
		And we honestly searched hard to tell Him that we will die without Him.
			In those words of the hymnwriter, “Nothing in my hand I bring, Simply to Thy cross I cling; Naked come to Thee for dress; Helpless, look to Thee for grace; Foul, I to the fountain fly; ‘Wash me, Saviour, or I die!’” (blue PH 388:3.)

	Our unbelieving friend may well ask, “What’s so special about Him?”
		And where can you begin?
			His wondrous qualities pour forth from your lips!
	We tell of His eternal glory; the depth of His suffering; and the height of His glory!
		All of what He is to us we want so much to share!

	Then suddenly, and to our inexpressible delight, he’s with us again!
		The experience of the Beloved is ours!
			“I am my lover’s and my lover is mine; he browses among the lilies.”

	We can be that close!
		O friend, I pray that now you’re not too far!
			Amen. 

PRAYER:
	Let’s pray...
		O God & Father of our Lord Jesus Christ...
			You who in Your Son - our Saviour - is and will work out our salvation.
				O Lord, make us sensitive to Your Spirit’s presence in our lives.
	That way we become less forgetful of Your love.
		And that way our love for You and others will more and more shine through.
			Then they can’t help but notice.
	But especially, we pray, they won’t be able to help but be saved through that gospel light.
		In Jesus saving Name, we pray, Amen.